The Esteemable Acts Blog

Taking Care of Our Health

I'm in New York City this week taking care of my health.  It's an old problem that just won't go away--my back.  I'd love to say the problem happened by accident, or due to someone else's fault, but the truth is, it's all about me.  I like so many women have made everyone else's needs a priority.  Taking care of others is a habit well learned.  The problem is, we need to also learn how to tend to our own health needs.  As women, it's not always easy to take care of ourselves.  We're taught and encouraged to be there for every one else EXCEPT ourselves.  Then often when we find ourselves sick, unhealthy, or out of alignment with ourselves, we're confused, angry, and depressed.

One of the small esteemable actions I've been taking over the last few years is being proactive about my health.  So now I go to the doctor and get the appropriate screenings to discover potential problems BEFORE they become problems.

Are you taking care of your health this week? Let me know how you're doing? 

Circle of Sisters Conference

What a blessing it was to share the platform with other authors who care about helping young black girls, women, and boys. I had the absolute pleasure of speaking at an event with Jeff Henderson, the author of Cooked; Amy DuBois Barnett, and Robin Givens, who was amazing.  Sometimes celebrities are stand-offish, aloof, and don't always come off as being sincere.  Not so with Robin, her sharing was real and personal.  What a delight. Self-esteem comes from having the courage o be real.

Keep Your Eye on the Goal

Self-esteem comes from staying focused on your goal.  Focus is the key to making something happen.  It's about keeping the end in mind, regardless of the distractions along the way.  I woke up this morning with an intention of writing in my Blog.  For the last few months, I have not allowed it to be the priority it needs to be.  Consequently, I didn't get the result I wanted--a viable Blog presence with a connection to clients and potential clients.  Today, I put a stop to that. So with computer key in hand, I started typing. As a result, this piece is being published. The first of one a week. Today I stayed focused on my intention to create and publish my weekly Blog.

Bring to mind your own experience.  How often have you said, today, I will do ____, and never did it?  How many times have you attempted to complete a task and never completed it? How many times have you made a commitment to yourself that you didn't keep?  How many times have you simply allowed STUFF to get in the way of you doing something that was important to you? 

Well regardless of how many times it's happened in the past, today you get to turn that around.  STOP feeling guilty about what you haven't done and let's get busy doing something today.  Maybe your commitment is to work on a project you've been putting off.  Maybe it's to finish an article you promised to write, make a phone call, hire an assistant, go to the gym, or send out a proposal.  Whatever it is, today is your day to be focused on that one thing, that's all, and get it done. I find the best way to get a project done that's looming over me is to break it into small pieces and then just do one thing at a time. You CAN do this.

Self-esteem comes from staying focused on your goal.  You'll find by the end of today, after you complete your task, you'll feel so much better about yourself.  Good luck and until next week---Keep doing those Esteemable acts!

Giving: It's in Vogue

Self-esteem comes from having he courage to give. Today all over CNN are comments about who's giving at the end of the year.  Giving is not doubt honorable, yet how easy it is to give to get attention, for tax breaks, or to be viewed as a "good guy," with no real desire to help others.  It's also easy to give when it's easy, yet a little harder when it's an inconvenience. I applaud all those who give everyday--not just during the holidays, and those who give in big and little aways. That's an esteemable act.

Kirstie Alley

Self-esteem comes from doing esteemable acts, and it's an esteemable act to have the courage to be real.  We live in a culture where it's easier to sit back and take the inventory of those who have the courage to take a risk.  No wonder so many people are afraid to take the risk to do something they really want to do, because they fear judgment.  Well congratulations to Kirstie Alley who had the courage, first, to recognize she needed to take better care of her health, and second, for having the courage to go on Oprah in a bikini and be proud of the action she took.  Does she have more weight to lose, perhaps, if that's what she wants to do.  But where she is today compared to where she's come from is awesome.  I pray that I am always willing to be myself in the face of judgment from others.

Getting Started

Well I’ve finally joined the 21^st Century and started blogging.  Why did it take me so long?  Probably fear.  Fear of not doing it perfectly, fear of making a mistake and it going into cyberspace forever and ever and ever, fear of trying something new, and the list goes on.  Therein lies the essence of the Esteemable Acts Blog. 

The basic concept behind Esteemable Acts is that contrary to popular belief, self-esteem doesn’t come from standing in the mirror repeating “I love me,” it doesn’t come from being smart or talented or even confident, and it doesn’t come from the acquisition of things.  Instead, Esteemable Acts is a radical perspective that suggests self-esteem comes from doing, not feeling or thinking.  The bottom line is that you get self-esteem by doing Esteemable Acts, which almost always comes from walking through fear.  Feeling the fear and doing something anyway.

For more immediate and detailed information about Esteemable Acts, feel free to check out one or both of my books at or a CD http://www.esteemableacts.com/products.html. In the meantime, the purpose of this Blog will be to relate Esteemable Acts to everyday occurrences found in the news and in popular culture, thereby showing you by example how to live a more Esteemable Life.

For anyone interested in weekly action steps, check out my 52 Weeks of Esteemable Acts Blog.

Oh by the way, in case you want to know what gives me the right to talk about this stuff, check out my BIO http://www.esteemableacts.net/about.html.